Once upon a time I was Sarah Frutchey. Some of you knew me back then. I was perhaps say, 16-years-old, a bit too into myself, and quite independent (or so I thought). I headed off to college with heady dreams of an undefined future, guided by Jesus, to hopefully a joyful end. I wanted to make a difference, change the world, perhaps act in a few plays, and maybe be a family counselor or a theater teacher.
Now I'm a 33-year-old Sarah Woodward. I'm called, "Hon! Mom! Mommy! MOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYY!!!" and a variety of other names. My every day choice effect not only my day but the feeding and care of my family. A third baby is due any day, and will add to the wonderful people who really need my love, quality time, and patience.
I feel a bit like a giant spider connected to many other parts of giant web. Or perhaps a bit more like pumpkin vine feeding a lot of pumpkins.
So underneath all the wonderful people I would say I help "feed" I also recognize the need to be fed myself. I appreciate all the precious friends who help feed me with prayers, hugs, helping hands, and encouragement. I also am blessed by those people who know and reflect me back to me. Helping me to define who I am, essentially, within and surrounded by relationships. I can't suspend my relational definitions as they help define me and grow me. However, there is an essential Sarah - I remember her - she was there in the quiet moments of the Rogue Valley woods at age 15, wandering around praising God and wondering what I'd be at age 30.
Holding onto the value of me, who I was created to be, and how I love to create, envision, inspire, and dive right in helps me believe that I am always worth recreating and rediscovering. And all this comes back to why I always love "getting back in shape" quickly after being pregnant and why I love running and eating healthy. These acts are a part of valuing the essential me that is underneath the layers of Mommy pounds that come at month nine of each pregnancy. Where is Sarah? She is there somewhere. Time to value her and bring her back to the surface.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
A Blank Sheet
I logged into my garmin online account after months - 7 to be exact - and cannot locate any of my previous data on my years of running! So frustrating. But I guess it is also freeing. Now I only have my memory of my fastest Personal records to remember. No more obsessing about the highs and lows of my previous running career.
I have 51 days till the likely birth of this baby. Within two weeks after his birth, somewhere near Labor Day, I should have only about 25 pounds to loose to get back to prepregnancy weight. I figure with some healthy eating, breastfeeding, and some swimming and weights I can start working out 5 weeks or so after his birth. It won't take me long.
I plan to be back to 145 by hmmmmmmm Halloween. Hopefully my leg injury will also mend if I do lots of yoga, swimming, and massage to get my weight down. After Halloween, if my leg doesn't hurt, then I can start running more in earnest. I could run in a CIM relay team in December!
Or I could run a half marathon in February.
It is always good to envision the path ahead. Since I've lost my data about how I did this before I'll just have to go by feel this time.
I have 51 days till the likely birth of this baby. Within two weeks after his birth, somewhere near Labor Day, I should have only about 25 pounds to loose to get back to prepregnancy weight. I figure with some healthy eating, breastfeeding, and some swimming and weights I can start working out 5 weeks or so after his birth. It won't take me long.
I plan to be back to 145 by hmmmmmmm Halloween. Hopefully my leg injury will also mend if I do lots of yoga, swimming, and massage to get my weight down. After Halloween, if my leg doesn't hurt, then I can start running more in earnest. I could run in a CIM relay team in December!
Or I could run a half marathon in February.
It is always good to envision the path ahead. Since I've lost my data about how I did this before I'll just have to go by feel this time.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Finding my Foggy Limit
Hello friends....It feels so long ago that I ran my marathon in December. On that day I was unknowingly pregnant and weighed about 145 pounds. I'm now up 30 pounds and I'm at 30 weeks - just ten weeks to go (or so I keep telling myself).
How I miss running. I miss just heading out the door running a quick three miles, seeing the creek and feeling the wind and sun, and rejoicing that my body was fit, fast, and balanced.
Right now I just feel so awkward and off balance. The big belly does this, as well as my leg injury which keeps reoccurring, and the fatigue of pregnancy will hit me just like a large wall of fog. When I least expect this fog all the sudden I MUST sit, I MUST rest, I MUST no longer move.
But I am a creature of movement: of action: of forward motion: of running. How I miss running. All my forward motion, however, must now be working inwardly. This little boy is growing within me very rapidly. He started out quiet and now he pokes and prods me and has a heart that makes the nurses eyes get big and say, "Strong heart!" I think he has stolen my running heart and is using it for his own nefarious purposes. I miss my heart and lungs. I want them back.
But this to "shall pass.."
How grateful I am though for my health before this pregnancy. I believe that one day my leg will heal, I won't be pregnant and I might once again run one mile...then two...then three.. and on up...until I once again hit my foggy limit. Without a pregnancy that limit won't be just walking up the stairs or down the block. It will only be as far as my legs will take me...which can be, for any of us, really damn far!
Much love to you all - Sarah
How I miss running. I miss just heading out the door running a quick three miles, seeing the creek and feeling the wind and sun, and rejoicing that my body was fit, fast, and balanced.
Right now I just feel so awkward and off balance. The big belly does this, as well as my leg injury which keeps reoccurring, and the fatigue of pregnancy will hit me just like a large wall of fog. When I least expect this fog all the sudden I MUST sit, I MUST rest, I MUST no longer move.
But I am a creature of movement: of action: of forward motion: of running. How I miss running. All my forward motion, however, must now be working inwardly. This little boy is growing within me very rapidly. He started out quiet and now he pokes and prods me and has a heart that makes the nurses eyes get big and say, "Strong heart!" I think he has stolen my running heart and is using it for his own nefarious purposes. I miss my heart and lungs. I want them back.
But this to "shall pass.."
How grateful I am though for my health before this pregnancy. I believe that one day my leg will heal, I won't be pregnant and I might once again run one mile...then two...then three.. and on up...until I once again hit my foggy limit. Without a pregnancy that limit won't be just walking up the stairs or down the block. It will only be as far as my legs will take me...which can be, for any of us, really damn far!
Much love to you all - Sarah
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Struggling with injury
Basically the nerve doctor in Kansas City was right, I should not run marathons due to a groin injury I sustained when in labor with Lincoln. My left leg (inner thigh nerve system) is damaged and therefore has the endurance of a 65-year-old woman. So after I would say about 15 miles it re-routes all communication to use back up muscles. This throws off my gait and over uses other smaller muscles in my left leg to the point of injury. Basically my left leg stops working completely near the end of the marathon, even if I it is extremely strong due extensive training. It is the nerves that shut down and fail me.
So I'm over three months from the race and I still cannot run three miles without feeling a lot of leg pain and tightness the day afterwards. The last time I overextended my left leg in a race was when I ran the "hilliest 5k in America" only months after birthing out Lincoln. It just goes to show that I can really gut out any race, even when I'm injured. But it also reminds me of when Paula Radcliffe (the World Record holder in the marathon for women) gutted out an entire marathon at the 2008 Olympics while injured and the commentators said, "this is a gutty performance but I really hope Paula isn't doing permanent damaged to herself with this race."
I keep asking myself what is the limit then of my legs endurance. When is the point of no return, after which I really should NOT be running. My leg pain started, I think, when I started into the last half of my marathon training (running 15-20 miles every Saturday morning). The pain was only slight then, however, so I ignored it. I also wonder if I were to invest in regular weekly massage during the last stage of marathon preparation, could I still push through more marathon seasons.
This injury took a year to recover from last time and is especially disheartening because I have dreams to run a 50k trail run someday (which is over 30 miles) and compete in other endurance races (perhaps a half Ironman like my brother Eddie). Today I go in for a 90 minute massage session. If I feel this massage therapist is effective, I'll sign up for a massage every one to two weeks, until my leg recovers. That was the ONLY effective treatment last time, massage along with yoga. It is painful deep massage, that is the only one that works for this injury, but I'm tired of not being able to run. POUT!
On a side note I did run three miles this week and despite injury and being four months pregnant I ran the first mile at around 9:50 and the second at around 10:20. My leg gave out the last miles and slowed to around a 12:00 but my heart and lungs felt totally capable of going much faster.
Cheer me on please!
So I'm over three months from the race and I still cannot run three miles without feeling a lot of leg pain and tightness the day afterwards. The last time I overextended my left leg in a race was when I ran the "hilliest 5k in America" only months after birthing out Lincoln. It just goes to show that I can really gut out any race, even when I'm injured. But it also reminds me of when Paula Radcliffe (the World Record holder in the marathon for women) gutted out an entire marathon at the 2008 Olympics while injured and the commentators said, "this is a gutty performance but I really hope Paula isn't doing permanent damaged to herself with this race."
I keep asking myself what is the limit then of my legs endurance. When is the point of no return, after which I really should NOT be running. My leg pain started, I think, when I started into the last half of my marathon training (running 15-20 miles every Saturday morning). The pain was only slight then, however, so I ignored it. I also wonder if I were to invest in regular weekly massage during the last stage of marathon preparation, could I still push through more marathon seasons.
This injury took a year to recover from last time and is especially disheartening because I have dreams to run a 50k trail run someday (which is over 30 miles) and compete in other endurance races (perhaps a half Ironman like my brother Eddie). Today I go in for a 90 minute massage session. If I feel this massage therapist is effective, I'll sign up for a massage every one to two weeks, until my leg recovers. That was the ONLY effective treatment last time, massage along with yoga. It is painful deep massage, that is the only one that works for this injury, but I'm tired of not being able to run. POUT!
On a side note I did run three miles this week and despite injury and being four months pregnant I ran the first mile at around 9:50 and the second at around 10:20. My leg gave out the last miles and slowed to around a 12:00 but my heart and lungs felt totally capable of going much faster.
Cheer me on please!
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
What the marathon felt like
I did it! I ran 26.2 miles and I only stopped to walk when my quads seazed up and forced me to watch. I set a new PR and I completed it pretty much on my own. It took me 5:04:48 (11:38 pace).
This is how it felt.
Pre-race: I was nervous but excited and highly caffeinated. A bit lacking in sleep.
The gun went off!
I jogged as slow as I thought I could and still ran mile 1 at a 10:13.
That was okay but I should have started slower. My goal was a 10:18 pace.
Mile 2 - 7: My running partner and I booked it downhill at a 9:40 average pace. I would feel and regret this later.
Mile 8 - 14: Was an unforeseen hilly section of the course. I knew it was rolling hills but it felt really hard. I struggled to stay ahead of 10:20 and my pace dipped to 11:00. By the half marathon point I was on pace at 2:14 BUT I could tell I had used up a lot of my legs endurance on the hills.
Mile 15 - 20: I spent these miles looking desperately for my family. I needed some encouragement as my pace kept slipping and the 4:30 pacer caught up with me and passed me at mile 16. I struggled to keep an 11:40 pace
Mile 20: It was awesome to see a huge crowd at this point and my family and most importantly my brother Eddie (who joined me to pace me home). The next three miles I talked to him about how my legs were dead and he encouraged me to just keep moving forward. I'm amazed I eeked out two 12 minute miles at this point.
Mile 23 - 25: Low point for sure. I was running 15:00 and stopping every .25 to stretch my quads which would just stop working all together. When I stopped I felt pain in every last inch of my body. I struggled to keep the shuffle moving forward.
At this point a school bus was trolling the race for the wounded and it kept slinking past me (and folks inside would yell, "come in here for margaritas!") This wasn't fair. I was emotional and yelled things to myself and sought encouragement from the crowd and from Eddie and from Kat (a friend who passed me and said keep going). The bands the last mile were really good and helped me have a sense of humor. I tried to dance along as passed each one.
Mile 26: I did this last mile in 12:38 or so, which was fantastic! Considering I had NOTHING LEFT! The last .25 I picked it up to a 10:30 pace at points. I was SOOOOO ready to be done. In the last 50 feet I sprinted past 5 women!
End of race: When I tried to lift my foot onto the chip timer step I couldn't do it.
My brother Eddie came up behind me and caught hold of me and helped me walk to a space to sit down. I could hardly balance and I was immediately freezing. I had left it all out there in the race and Eddie had to guide me to a place to lay down for 10 minutes before I could really even sit up. I had also spent most of the race with a tummy ache, afraid of throwing up, but thankfully I never did.
I came home with a beautiful medal which I am going to show the kids at church tonight. And I'm proud of how I trained for this race and completed it 97 minutes faster than my last marathon.
My thanks go out to my fam anf friends
This is how it felt.
Pre-race: I was nervous but excited and highly caffeinated. A bit lacking in sleep.
The gun went off!
I jogged as slow as I thought I could and still ran mile 1 at a 10:13.
That was okay but I should have started slower. My goal was a 10:18 pace.
Mile 2 - 7: My running partner and I booked it downhill at a 9:40 average pace. I would feel and regret this later.
Mile 8 - 14: Was an unforeseen hilly section of the course. I knew it was rolling hills but it felt really hard. I struggled to stay ahead of 10:20 and my pace dipped to 11:00. By the half marathon point I was on pace at 2:14 BUT I could tell I had used up a lot of my legs endurance on the hills.
Mile 15 - 20: I spent these miles looking desperately for my family. I needed some encouragement as my pace kept slipping and the 4:30 pacer caught up with me and passed me at mile 16. I struggled to keep an 11:40 pace
Mile 20: It was awesome to see a huge crowd at this point and my family and most importantly my brother Eddie (who joined me to pace me home). The next three miles I talked to him about how my legs were dead and he encouraged me to just keep moving forward. I'm amazed I eeked out two 12 minute miles at this point.
Mile 23 - 25: Low point for sure. I was running 15:00 and stopping every .25 to stretch my quads which would just stop working all together. When I stopped I felt pain in every last inch of my body. I struggled to keep the shuffle moving forward.
At this point a school bus was trolling the race for the wounded and it kept slinking past me (and folks inside would yell, "come in here for margaritas!") This wasn't fair. I was emotional and yelled things to myself and sought encouragement from the crowd and from Eddie and from Kat (a friend who passed me and said keep going). The bands the last mile were really good and helped me have a sense of humor. I tried to dance along as passed each one.
Mile 26: I did this last mile in 12:38 or so, which was fantastic! Considering I had NOTHING LEFT! The last .25 I picked it up to a 10:30 pace at points. I was SOOOOO ready to be done. In the last 50 feet I sprinted past 5 women!
End of race: When I tried to lift my foot onto the chip timer step I couldn't do it.
My brother Eddie came up behind me and caught hold of me and helped me walk to a space to sit down. I could hardly balance and I was immediately freezing. I had left it all out there in the race and Eddie had to guide me to a place to lay down for 10 minutes before I could really even sit up. I had also spent most of the race with a tummy ache, afraid of throwing up, but thankfully I never did.
I came home with a beautiful medal which I am going to show the kids at church tonight. And I'm proud of how I trained for this race and completed it 97 minutes faster than my last marathon.
My thanks go out to my fam anf friends
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Patience
I believe in God.
I believe that I'm NOT God.
But sometimes I try to run faster then God.
This week I'm hardly running at all. I'm resting. My marathon is four days so this is called a taper. When you hardly run at all and store up food and water for the hardest run yet. I feel a lot of pent up energy. I want to go out with a bang.
But even when the gun goes off I will have to run slow. Slower then I will want to run.
In order to finish at a steady pace instead of slowly walking to the finish line. I will still be waiting. Through mile one to mile 20 to really let my legs go the pace they want to go.
Spiritually...I also get impatient with God. I want to go and with God make things right with people right away. I crave unity. I hate conflict. And I rarely enjoy waiting for resolution.
So this week I'm trying to practice waiting. Being patient with myself, others, and with God.
At some point I will run with all my might...just.......not.........yet.........
I believe that I'm NOT God.
But sometimes I try to run faster then God.
This week I'm hardly running at all. I'm resting. My marathon is four days so this is called a taper. When you hardly run at all and store up food and water for the hardest run yet. I feel a lot of pent up energy. I want to go out with a bang.
But even when the gun goes off I will have to run slow. Slower then I will want to run.
In order to finish at a steady pace instead of slowly walking to the finish line. I will still be waiting. Through mile one to mile 20 to really let my legs go the pace they want to go.
Spiritually...I also get impatient with God. I want to go and with God make things right with people right away. I crave unity. I hate conflict. And I rarely enjoy waiting for resolution.
So this week I'm trying to practice waiting. Being patient with myself, others, and with God.
At some point I will run with all my might...just.......not.........yet.........
Sunday, November 14, 2010
One step after another
When you start out intending to run 20 miles without stopping for any reason the task ahead of you can feel daunting. You wonder if you can really make it the entire way, do you have the resources to draw on, or will you fail. These worries are not unlike the ones you might experience when facing a large decision that you know will have lasting consequences on my life. You start to lean towards saying yes to something new and as you gain momentum the thrill of that new change charges toward you along with the fear of what it will bring.
This is not unlike the fear of the marathon, you take your first step and before you know it you've run a mile and then two and then three. Once you turn around at the half way point you realize I'm almost there and perhaps you speed up like horse searching for the stable. But then the stable scares you by how far away it is and how unattainable that goal is and you slow down greatly doubting your ability to keep this pace all the way home.
Recently my feelings of fear, hope, excitement and anticipation that I feel during a my long runs (which last over 3 hours) mirror my self-doubt as my life approaches drastic changes and choices. I interview for a job tomorrow that would return me to work and out of my comfort zone of staying at home with the kids. My husband and I are also being certified to be foster/adopt parents through the county and may have kids in our home somewhat quickly.
I anticipate the new lessons I'll learn when my life changes often for the better. I'm so blessed to run. So blessed to even live in a country where I can work, run, adopt children, and feed them all. So worrying about these changes isn't more than just stretching my legs in the first few miles of a marathon. Isn't it?
This is not unlike the fear of the marathon, you take your first step and before you know it you've run a mile and then two and then three. Once you turn around at the half way point you realize I'm almost there and perhaps you speed up like horse searching for the stable. But then the stable scares you by how far away it is and how unattainable that goal is and you slow down greatly doubting your ability to keep this pace all the way home.
Recently my feelings of fear, hope, excitement and anticipation that I feel during a my long runs (which last over 3 hours) mirror my self-doubt as my life approaches drastic changes and choices. I interview for a job tomorrow that would return me to work and out of my comfort zone of staying at home with the kids. My husband and I are also being certified to be foster/adopt parents through the county and may have kids in our home somewhat quickly.
I anticipate the new lessons I'll learn when my life changes often for the better. I'm so blessed to run. So blessed to even live in a country where I can work, run, adopt children, and feed them all. So worrying about these changes isn't more than just stretching my legs in the first few miles of a marathon. Isn't it?
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