So I'm a woman who is approaching the age of 30 and am still struggling with being an adult. I was just promoted to a high-powered director position at my job and am looking forward to many long nights of work with CEOs breathing down my neck for results. And on top of all this there is so much I want to do before I turn 30. Like start a family. Run a marathon. Loose 20 pounds. And maybe actually enjoy life instead of rushing through it!
To fulfill two out the four above goals I signed up with Team in Training to run a marathon while raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (run a marathon and loose 20 pounds). I'm six weeks into the training and I just found a blog of one of my teammates on line. So I thought I'd follow her lead and journal about my progress here. My teammate blogs about her reasons for running the race listing them as 1) getting in shape 2) finding a man 3) just being random. My reasons are somewhat similar but different: 1) getting in shape 2) remembering my Dad 3) running away from growing up!
You see my Dad died of lymphoma quite suddenly three months after I got married 5 years ago. He got sick and was dead two weeks later so I have seen first hand how nasty this cancer can be. I think I will blog more on Dad later. I never thought cancer would effect our family. Needless to say I don't use the word cancer as lightly anymore. I've also ballooned up to 165 pounds since getting married and really don't want to get preganant before I'm at a healthier weight for my height, since I will most likely gain weight in the process. Good news is that because of running I've maintained this weight for the past two years, no more gaining!
And lastly, I'm running this marathon because I'm running away from growing up! With my new job I finally feel like a grown up and I'm making enough money so that my husband (a musician) doesn't have to work. Part of me is okay with this but another part feels an immense responsibility to provide that keeps me from dreaming about all the things I used to. I used to dream about starting a family, travelling to distant lands, and changing the world. But now I just sort of focus on that one e-mail I need to write and the response I will get from the stupid HR department that wants to run everyone's life because their own lives are pointless!
So each time I take a step closer to the marathon finish line I think three things: "I miss you so much Dad!" "Come on body get in shape."and "Screw work, I'm still a kid, look at me run!!!!"
I'm at the back of the pack during our training runs and will probably finish the marathon only by run/walking. But at least I KNOW I will finish. If I quit without finishing that would mean that adulthood had beat me to the finishline - and I really can't let that happen!