Saturday, June 11, 2011

Finding my Foggy Limit

Hello friends....It feels so long ago that I ran my marathon in December. On that day I was unknowingly pregnant and weighed about 145 pounds. I'm now up 30 pounds and I'm at 30 weeks - just ten weeks to go (or so I keep telling myself).

How I miss running. I miss just heading out the door running a quick three miles, seeing the creek and feeling the wind and sun, and rejoicing that my body was fit, fast, and balanced.

Right now I just feel so awkward and off balance. The big belly does this, as well as my leg injury which keeps reoccurring, and the fatigue of pregnancy will hit me just like a large wall of fog. When I least expect this fog all the sudden I MUST sit, I MUST rest, I MUST no longer move.

But I am a creature of movement: of action: of forward motion: of running. How I miss running. All my forward motion, however, must now be working inwardly. This little boy is growing within me very rapidly. He started out quiet and now he pokes and prods me and has a heart that makes the nurses eyes get big and say, "Strong heart!" I think he has stolen my running heart and is using it for his own nefarious purposes. I miss my heart and lungs. I want them back.

But this to "shall pass.."

How grateful I am though for my health before this pregnancy. I believe that one day my leg will heal, I won't be pregnant and I might once again run one mile...then two...then three.. and on up...until I once again hit my foggy limit. Without a pregnancy that limit won't be just walking up the stairs or down the block. It will only be as far as my legs will take me...which can be, for any of us, really damn far!

Much love to you all - Sarah


Sophy Brown said...

Beautiful inspiration...thank you.

Eddie Frutchey said...

Yep Sis. You'll be back!