Once upon a time I was Sarah Frutchey. Some of you knew me back then. I was perhaps say, 16-years-old, a bit too into myself, and quite independent (or so I thought). I headed off to college with heady dreams of an undefined future, guided by Jesus, to hopefully a joyful end. I wanted to make a difference, change the world, perhaps act in a few plays, and maybe be a family counselor or a theater teacher.
Now I'm a 33-year-old Sarah Woodward. I'm called, "Hon! Mom! Mommy! MOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYY!!!" and a variety of other names. My every day choice effect not only my day but the feeding and care of my family. A third baby is due any day, and will add to the wonderful people who really need my love, quality time, and patience.
I feel a bit like a giant spider connected to many other parts of giant web. Or perhaps a bit more like pumpkin vine feeding a lot of pumpkins.
So underneath all the wonderful people I would say I help "feed" I also recognize the need to be fed myself. I appreciate all the precious friends who help feed me with prayers, hugs, helping hands, and encouragement. I also am blessed by those people who know and reflect me back to me. Helping me to define who I am, essentially, within and surrounded by relationships. I can't suspend my relational definitions as they help define me and grow me. However, there is an essential Sarah - I remember her - she was there in the quiet moments of the Rogue Valley woods at age 15, wandering around praising God and wondering what I'd be at age 30.
Holding onto the value of me, who I was created to be, and how I love to create, envision, inspire, and dive right in helps me believe that I am always worth recreating and rediscovering. And all this comes back to why I always love "getting back in shape" quickly after being pregnant and why I love running and eating healthy. These acts are a part of valuing the essential me that is underneath the layers of Mommy pounds that come at month nine of each pregnancy. Where is Sarah? She is there somewhere. Time to value her and bring her back to the surface.